Every time I see one of these things, I think of one thing: bacon!

Not Bacon the poet; bacon the food! Wonder if I could bribe the zoo to let me take one of these home to my kitchen?

[NOTE: When pasting into Excel, Hyle's lines of dialogue appear in boldface while Hand's do not. This is not part of the puzzle.]

So, Hand, remember how I told you that I was going to use a poem for one of my puzzles?

Well, here goes: are you ready?

“There once was a man from Nantucket…” 😈

Oh, Hyle, that’s crass. Not to mention it’s trite.

You’re Such an ass. Not to mention uptight.

You said you’d come up with a poem. Quit bugging me until you’ve got it.

My brother, who acts like I owe him! The poem is here: can you spot it?

When you say that it’s “here,” is there some sort of link?

Not at All, brother dear. Boy, you really do stink!

Insults aren’t poetry, Hyle. Why can’t you leave me alone?

Putting you down is my “style:” one I’ve had decades to hone!

By “poem,” I thought you meant rhyme. By “poem,” I thought you meant meter!

Oh, yeah? Tell me, is it a crime… if my Verses don’t contain either?

Free verse is okay… if it’s actually clever.

Mine’s deft in the way that I put it together!

You claim that *now*, Hyle, but I can’t see your verses.

Well, it might take a while, so hold Onto your hearses!

It’s “horses,” Hyle! Why’ve you got no intellect?

Sheesh, Hand: at least *I’ve* heard of autocorrect!

All right, that’s enough! I’ve got work to do!

Wow, your life’s so Rough. It sucks to be you.

That’s it, Hyle! I’m done! I’m ending this conversation!

I’m just making fun of your blatant consternation!

Fine! No more responses! I’m done texting back!

I’ll knock You unconscious, you lame brainiac!

Hello?

Yelloooooow…?

Hand, you need to text, or the poem won’t work!

I promise my next reply won’t be a jerk!

Or rather, I won’t be a jerk in my next text!

Aw, dammit! You’ve ruined everything!

As usual!

Well, there’s the poem: right there. Rhyming couplets and matching meter and hidden answer and everything. Call me when you get it. Sheesh. Some people! And now, like all good poets, I need a drink!

...

Oh, I get it now. Very funny, Hyle. Funny, funny, funny.

Hyle, you’re not REALLY going to use this in the Treasure Hunt, are you?

Hyle?